How do you feel when you are talking to your child and they tune you out? “Do you I even exist” is probably the thought running in your head at the time? You are one “No” and snide mark away from going into the meltdown mode.
With a wave of emotions overcoming you, breathe to make yourself calm. Even though you want to explode, there is a better way to deal with a child who refuses to follow instructions. Instead of going back and forth, trying to make them follow your instructions, you can encourage them to follow your instructions.
Since Because clearly yelling, being stern, having arguments have not worked for you, so why not try something new instead? . Without further ado, we present ing the most effective you with tips to encourage them to follow your instructions.
1. Model Good Listening Behavior
You are your child’s role model. They look up to you and strive to mimic your behavior. If you do not listen to them, what makes you think they will listen to you? Technology such as smartphones and handheld tablets have consumed us. If your child comes up to you and wants to talk to you or make a request, turn your attention towards them, not the device you are holding.
Listen to them, nod, and ask questions, so they know you are listening. If you do not pause whatever you are doing, they will do the same when you give them an instruction. Be the teacher and teach your child about the importance of listening through your own behavior.
2. Change the Way You Give Information
It is safe to say that demanding behavior does not sit well with anyone, including you. So, why do we assume our children will listen to us when we demand they do something? Communicate with your child in a manner that encourages them to listen and follow.
For instance, instead of saying, “I want you to go to bed now,” say “I would like you to go to bed” or “It is time to go to bed”. ”Say all these aloud. Did you notice a difference in tone? Here, you are not demanding they listen to you; you are asking them to consider the request and change their behavior. Demanding leads to failure and a never-ending failure between the two of you.
3. Teach Your Child about the Art of Mindfulness
Mindfulness allows you to be a present parent and choose a skillful response. Before you can teach your child about mindfulness, practice mindfulness yourself first. Mindfulness can improve your child’s ability to listen and pay attention, calm down when their emotions are all over the place, and make better and well-thought-out decisions.
When you instruct your child to do something, they will know that not listening to you will result in a consequence, such as their technology being taken away, grounding, or pocket money being taken away. They will also not react negatively by yelling, crying, or throwing a tantrum. Practice mindfulness together.
4. Make Listening Rewarding
When you perform well at work, you want to receive recognition. Once you receive recognition, you strive to do better. With kids, it is the same way. For them, home is like an office where you are the boss and doing chores is their work. If they take out the trash, go to bed, put their toys back, clean up their room, among other things, recognize their achievement.
Appreciate them with words and gestures, such as taking them out for ice cream. For being on their best behavior all month, get them a toy, video game, clothes, or whatever they desire. Knowing they will be rewarded for following your instruction will encourage them to listen more.
5. Always Follow Through with the Consequence
How many times have you given an instruction to your child, and they have did not listen to youed, so you have threatened them with a consequence, and then not did not carry ied it out? Most of you must have done this several times because we get them to listen to us after repeatedly telling them to do something until they do it. If you are asking them to change their clothes and if they do not, they will turn off the TV, do it if they do not listen.
If you do not carry out with the consequence, your child will be more likely not to listen to you, as they know it is just empty threats. If they comply to your request, ensure to acknowledge it using descriptive words and phrases to praise them, such as by saying, “Thank you for listening to me and doing what I asked you to do”.” In doing so, it will increase the behavior.